My Shitty Valentine

"Where...I...uh...WOW, When did you get that?"

"Oh this little thing? Well, your mother gave it to me."

"Y...you...she...SHE WHAT?"

"She said you would like it."

"WHEN...I mean how? WHAT?

"I think it is nice."

"Well, it is nice, but that's not the point."

"You don't like it. Do you?"

"No, you look great, but I mean.."

"What's wrong then?"

"My MOTHER?"

"I know isn't she sweet?"

"No, she is not; I don't even know what to do. I can't believe she would do this to me!"

"Why are you getting all mad. You asked me when she moved in to become friends with her. So, that's what I did"

"But...I just can't do this."

"You don't like the way I look."

"I AM GOING TO KILL HER!"

"Well, if you are going to act like that then maybe you should go talk to her. MARTHA?"

"Oh, don't you just look Darling! Don't you think she looks nice."

"He doesn't like it"

"Jesus, That's not it at all!"

"I wish my breast were still perky like that!"

"Damn it Mom!, What are you trying to do to me?"

"Steven! Don't you talk to me like that I am you mother, and I was just trying to do something nice for my new friend and my favorite...sob...child"

"Aw Mom, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.. please stop crying."

-and so ends the night.